Feeling low happens to everyone. In all the years that I have been on this earth I've had my fair share of low points in my life. Especially in the last 4 years of course. Having had to give up my jobs to be a carer, the financial implications of not being able to work, the lack of contact with friends due to my inability to socialize as often as I would like, are just some of the main frustrations that I have had the misfortune to experience. The recent death of my father just adds to the mix, I suppose. It doesn't help.
Yesterday, I believe that I suffered real depression for the first time in my life. I have always been reluctant to use the word 'depression' in the past because for one thing I thought that I was immune to it because of my optimistic disposition, and secondly, I think the word has been used so flippantly by people, in some cases to describe a disappointment they are experiencing, rather than a condition that prevents normal everyday functioning. I always thought I was low, not depressed; there are always other people far worse off than me who truly are depressed and are going through their own personal hell. Well, I have always being able to lift myself soon after a low period, so that's not depression. However, I felt utter despair yesterday, of which I have never experienced before. I could not shake it off and felt that I was not in control of my thinking. It was almost as if my thought processes were fixed on one path, like a train on a single track unable to change direction. As soon as I woke up my head was pounding and I felt that nothing mattered, which lasted all day. I didn't know what to do with myself, uninterested in anything, prefering to stare into the distance for long periods, in any direction, and just do nothing, paralised in such a way that I was unable to think clearly. If I had received the letter I am expecting about my passing my exams yesterday, it could not have lifted me from my doldrums. I would have tossed it aside, not even being upset if I had not passed. Nothing mattered. It was scary, and the world that I knew was not the same anymore. It was almost as if the depression was everything, perpetuating itself in a neverending loop. I just didn't know where to start to get out of it. Scary as hell.
I could feel emotional pain welling up as the day wore on, and it was after visiting my mum late morning that the banks finally burst. I couldn't control the tears in the car at that point and when I got home I decided I needed a distraction so I watched something on my laptop. I surmise that this emotion I was feeling was linked to my recent berevement, and the thought that he would not be here for christmas. My dad always made us laugh at christmas, his inner child and inhibition ran wild. It won't be the same without him. So, this year will be a testing one for us all.
Eventually, last night, I managed to get the opportunity to talk about how I felt to my wife, and I'm inclined to believe that it must have helped, though earlier in the day I could not see talking as any help to me, and today I have felt a bit better and not so zombiefied. Yesterday I got a little insight to what many truly depressed people must be going through. The most appalling feeling is the concrete realisation that there is no escape from feeling like this; nothing that you or anyone else can do to help you get out of how you're feeling, and that you are trapped as if in a cage and there is no key to let you out.
In my experience, feelings of hopelessness and abandonment are key features of depression. They are biggies, really. We all need people to show that they care for us, in our hours of need, and if we don't it leads to a deteriorating self-esteem, and believe me that's a slippery slope. When you feel worthless and insignificant it's a sorry state of affairs. Hopelessness sets in and I believe this is when you feel you're locked up in that cell with no key. It's important that you find someone with the particular key that will help you get out. Last night, by talking to my wife I found a key, so the power of talk should never be underestimated. Hope. What a wonderful thing that is! Where would we be without it? It gives us the reason to carry on and do the things we need to do, and should never be abandoned. The question is, where do we find hope when things appear hopeless? Luckily, given good guidance, hope can be found in a multitude of places, people's hearts being one. To be kind, honest and supportive restores faith in humanity and perhaps the lack of these qualities creates the hoplessness in the first place.
If anything, this little episode has revealed to me the importance of my time at Aberconwy MIND, a place where I always encounter the results of depression. I meet people there who live with depression every day of their lives. To experience it for only one day is only a short glimpse of what it must be like for them, and I hope I don't get many days like yesterday again.
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Porcupine Tree: Rock Lessons at the Academy
Going back to the Manchester Academy to see Porcupine Tree live was like visiting a friend that I hadn't seen for a long time. Four and half years in fact. When I got to that part of Oxford Road I even discovered that that friend had moved house! It seems that finding locations where PT performs is as problematic as trying to find their CD's in local shops! The first time I saw them was back in 2002 at Academy 3 and when I recognised the familiar steps leading up to the main doors I thought I'd find them in there again. Getting our tickets out I heard a voice saying that there was a queue, and so there was. A queue going back so far I didn't know whether to feel pleased for PT for attracting such support or trepidation for the prospect of being squashed into aphyxiation when we got in. Luckily my son Simon's bladder intervened so we nipped into a MacDonalds over the road. Going back I noticed another building which had an 'Academy' look to it, and what appeared to be an A4 sheet on the glass covered entrance with Porcupine Tree and North Atlantic Oscillation start times on it. Oh joy! No queue. This is more like it, but a part of me was wondering why there weren't more people. Most of the venues on this current tour promoting the album 'The Incident' have been sell outs, which had prompted me to think that the big queue down the street was for PT. Anyhow, as I was walking in I remembered that this was just the same feeling I had when I first saw them in 2002. Plenty of personal space around, a bar in the foyer and music filtering through from the auditorium. The support act, North Atlantic Oscillation, had already started their set and I then realised how late we were. We had a bit of a struggle getting to Manchester that day. Missed the direct train from Colwyn Bay by minutes, luckily got a train not long after to Chester, changed for Crewe, then got a connection to Manchester. In the end we were 20 minutes later than we had planned, not too bad considering, but there was no stop for the Oxford Road station. Therefore we had to hike it from Picadilly. The other dampener to our evening was the fact that the last train from Manchester to North Wales was at 10:35, so we knew before we left home that we would not see the entire show. Another throwback to my first PT show. What was so annoying is that the timetable has been changed since the summer, which had the last train leaving at 11:15, which me and Simon got home from a trip to Old Trafford. If this had still be running we would have probably seen the whole show. Never mind, seeing half of PT live is better than not seeing them at all. Or for that matter some other bands in full.
Of what I heard of the support act, which must have been a good half hour, I was impressed. North Atlantic Oscillation have a good sound, catchy melodies and not predictable. I like to be surprised by bands, to make me wonder where the music is going to go. They did that. There are too many bands who tend to follow a familiar path with their music, especially with progressive music, and veer towards areas already covered by bands they are trying to be like. N A O are, I believe, ploughing their own furrow, and planting the seeds to some promising music in the future.
Porcupine Tree planted their seeds way back in the early 90's, and it has taken a long time to bear fruit but they have finally broken through the barrier of musical prejudice that once gripped the progessive rock genre. They broke through for many of their fans years ago because their albums have been consistently good since 'Up The Downstair' in 1993. Since then the Porcupine Tree sound has matured into a category that cannot be defined. File it under Porcupine Tree music!
By now the venue was pretty full, with a few hundred having joined the rest of us to see the main act. A voice spoke to the audience about the group policy of asking fans to refrain from using any type of recording devices or they would be escorted out of the auditorium. Throughout the time I was there I could see the odd jackass trying his luck to record snapshots for his posterity (one in front of me even had the nerve to stick his SLR above his head to take a shot of the band playing!) How he didn't get chucked out I'll never know. The band came on to a tremendous applause amidst a foggy stage and unleashed 'Occam's Razor', the first track of 'The Incident', whose power almost took me by surprise, even though I knew what was coming having listened to the CD often enough. The band have been playing the album in its entirety throughout the tour, which started at Seattle on September 15th. Colin Edwin's bass guitar sound was like a wave which makes your chest and stomach areas tremble! Simon was concerned of the dreaded 'brown note'! Porcupine Tree progressed through 'The Incident' flawlessly. I have to also mention the images of Lasse Hoile which were displayed in perfect synch throughout. Both disturbing and beautiful the images tend to distract you from the band, so your eyes are constantly in motion. I love the images that accompany the track 'Time Flies'. I can definately identify with my past, growing up, and experiencing the effects of the advancement of time. Personally, it has a poignant significance for me after the passing of my father last August. My first hearing of it coincided with that sad event. Back to the concert and the tracks 'Drawing the Line', 'The Incident' and 'Octane Twisted' absolutely rocked and sound even better live. Simon, being his first rock concert, was a bit taken aback with the noise and the sheer power of the band, Colin Edwin's bass rippling into us like a shock wave, and Gavin Harrison's drums booming with every beat. Steven Wilson's mastery on the guitar always amazes me. His fingers dance along the frets so effortlessly I swear he could be as good asleep! The closer 'I Drive the Hearse' is a beautiful ballad reminicent to me of something the Goo Goo Dolls were doing some years back. I knew that this song would be the last full song we would hear tonight, and I wondered where the time had flown, but it truly does go quicker when you are enjoying yourself. Reluctantly our time was up and a train had to be caught in order to prevent us from wandering Chester station all night waiting for the mail train! The 10 minute countdown of the band's re-emergence on stage was displaying on the screen and we left the auditorium with the strains of 'The Start of Something Beautiful' in the air. In fact as we were walking away from the building and with an ambulance rushing past us in full siren we could still hear the band. We managed to catch the train home at Oxford station in plenty of time in the end and practically devoid of other passengers. Overall, despite only seeing half of the show, the trip was worthwhile and anyway I needed a T-shirt!
Of what I heard of the support act, which must have been a good half hour, I was impressed. North Atlantic Oscillation have a good sound, catchy melodies and not predictable. I like to be surprised by bands, to make me wonder where the music is going to go. They did that. There are too many bands who tend to follow a familiar path with their music, especially with progressive music, and veer towards areas already covered by bands they are trying to be like. N A O are, I believe, ploughing their own furrow, and planting the seeds to some promising music in the future.
Porcupine Tree planted their seeds way back in the early 90's, and it has taken a long time to bear fruit but they have finally broken through the barrier of musical prejudice that once gripped the progessive rock genre. They broke through for many of their fans years ago because their albums have been consistently good since 'Up The Downstair' in 1993. Since then the Porcupine Tree sound has matured into a category that cannot be defined. File it under Porcupine Tree music!
By now the venue was pretty full, with a few hundred having joined the rest of us to see the main act. A voice spoke to the audience about the group policy of asking fans to refrain from using any type of recording devices or they would be escorted out of the auditorium. Throughout the time I was there I could see the odd jackass trying his luck to record snapshots for his posterity (one in front of me even had the nerve to stick his SLR above his head to take a shot of the band playing!) How he didn't get chucked out I'll never know. The band came on to a tremendous applause amidst a foggy stage and unleashed 'Occam's Razor', the first track of 'The Incident', whose power almost took me by surprise, even though I knew what was coming having listened to the CD often enough. The band have been playing the album in its entirety throughout the tour, which started at Seattle on September 15th. Colin Edwin's bass guitar sound was like a wave which makes your chest and stomach areas tremble! Simon was concerned of the dreaded 'brown note'! Porcupine Tree progressed through 'The Incident' flawlessly. I have to also mention the images of Lasse Hoile which were displayed in perfect synch throughout. Both disturbing and beautiful the images tend to distract you from the band, so your eyes are constantly in motion. I love the images that accompany the track 'Time Flies'. I can definately identify with my past, growing up, and experiencing the effects of the advancement of time. Personally, it has a poignant significance for me after the passing of my father last August. My first hearing of it coincided with that sad event. Back to the concert and the tracks 'Drawing the Line', 'The Incident' and 'Octane Twisted' absolutely rocked and sound even better live. Simon, being his first rock concert, was a bit taken aback with the noise and the sheer power of the band, Colin Edwin's bass rippling into us like a shock wave, and Gavin Harrison's drums booming with every beat. Steven Wilson's mastery on the guitar always amazes me. His fingers dance along the frets so effortlessly I swear he could be as good asleep! The closer 'I Drive the Hearse' is a beautiful ballad reminicent to me of something the Goo Goo Dolls were doing some years back. I knew that this song would be the last full song we would hear tonight, and I wondered where the time had flown, but it truly does go quicker when you are enjoying yourself. Reluctantly our time was up and a train had to be caught in order to prevent us from wandering Chester station all night waiting for the mail train! The 10 minute countdown of the band's re-emergence on stage was displaying on the screen and we left the auditorium with the strains of 'The Start of Something Beautiful' in the air. In fact as we were walking away from the building and with an ambulance rushing past us in full siren we could still hear the band. We managed to catch the train home at Oxford station in plenty of time in the end and practically devoid of other passengers. Overall, despite only seeing half of the show, the trip was worthwhile and anyway I needed a T-shirt!
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Anticipating Porcupine Tree
At last the wait is over! Tickets were bought months ago and now Simon and I can exchange them for a performance of the great Porcupine Tree tonight. We are going to the Academy in Manchester to witness the band playing 'The Incident' in its entirety, plus hopefully we will have time to see some of the second part of the show before we have to head off back down Oxford Road to catch the train home. Going to the venue will bring back happy memories for me. My first experience of seeing Porcupine Tree live was at the Academy but I believe that tonight's show will be in a different auditorium. The following for the band has dramatically increased in the last few years and this is reflected by the size of the audiences they have been drawing into venues on this current tour. It's good to see their popularity increasing and is continuing to increase as the years go on. Soon, gone will be the days when when people will say "who?" when Porcupine Tree is mentioned.
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Dave Smith R.I.P.
So, here I am writing about another friend who has met an unfortunate end by his own hand. Whilst my friend Brian from Aberconwy MIND was probably self inflected (no one has told me exactly what happened but he did tell me that things were not ok with him just before his death), Dave Smith's death appears to be sucide according to friends' comments on Facebook. To us his friends who were in school with him, this is hard to come to terms with. My last e-mail contact with him in July of this year talked very positively about the up and coming school reunion and coming to Rhos-on-sea. What happened in the short time since to have changed so much in his life I haven't the foggiest. I remember Dave being one of the most laid back of individuals, appearing to have not a care in the world but also intelligent enough to secure a 'golden ticket' apprenticeship with the Post Office, now British Telecom of course, when he left school, which is more than I did! A lot od us went for the apptitude tests during the last few weeks of our schooldays at Ysgol-y-Moelwyn (I went to a church in Colwyn Bay I recall, maybe Dave did as well) and he was one of the minority who managed to get in. He moved to Chester and as far as I know that was where he had been living.
I knew Dave from way back. We were together at Maenofferen primary school and I remember an incident with him near the end of the final year there. He threatened to beat me up over something (no idea what the reason was) and it wasn't a pleasant experience for me. Going into the new school at the end of that summer of 1974 I thought he would cause me more trouble. He didn't. Dave did not mention it or used it to make life uncomfortable for me, proving to me it was just one of those thngs which happen in a million schoolyards all over the world but has no real meaning nor nasty intent. I had no trouble from Dave in all the years whilst at Ysgol-y-Moelwyn, in fact he became a good person to know and a very funny guy. I was friends with Gwyn Williams Jones in the early years of Moelwyn and Dave was good friends with him so I would see him about, playing cricket and football behind the old forum. I also remember receiving from Dave a souvenir from the 1974 World Cup, which Dave's Dad had gone to, which he gave to a lot of his friends. Do any other friends remember these souvenirs?
After my family moved to Llandudno in 1982 I lost touch with most of my friends from Blaenau, including Dave, though I remember bumbing into him in ASDA Llandudno just after we moved. I believe Dave's family also moved to this area around this time. In recent years he would e-mail me through Friends Reunited, interested in any news of a possible reunion of his old schoolmates, an event that had been talked about for some years and ironically has been echeduled for April 2010. In fact, according to one of his friends I ws talking to recently from Blaenau Ffestiniog, he was so looking forward to going to it next year. He had been asking me since 2007 about this reunion, so proving that he couldn't wait to see his friends again. I for one was not only looking forward to seeing him at the reunion, but also here at Rhos where his dad lives.
Going through his page on Friends Reunited reveals a man who thought a lot of his days back in Blaenau. His photos are a reminder for all of us who knew him of the halcyon times that were our schooldays. Despite the angst of adolescence they really were halcyon days weren't they.
Let's hope that this coming reunion will kick start a continuance of contact between the friends we once knew and to remember those who we have lost, and to support those that need us in times of despair.
I knew Dave from way back. We were together at Maenofferen primary school and I remember an incident with him near the end of the final year there. He threatened to beat me up over something (no idea what the reason was) and it wasn't a pleasant experience for me. Going into the new school at the end of that summer of 1974 I thought he would cause me more trouble. He didn't. Dave did not mention it or used it to make life uncomfortable for me, proving to me it was just one of those thngs which happen in a million schoolyards all over the world but has no real meaning nor nasty intent. I had no trouble from Dave in all the years whilst at Ysgol-y-Moelwyn, in fact he became a good person to know and a very funny guy. I was friends with Gwyn Williams Jones in the early years of Moelwyn and Dave was good friends with him so I would see him about, playing cricket and football behind the old forum. I also remember receiving from Dave a souvenir from the 1974 World Cup, which Dave's Dad had gone to, which he gave to a lot of his friends. Do any other friends remember these souvenirs?
After my family moved to Llandudno in 1982 I lost touch with most of my friends from Blaenau, including Dave, though I remember bumbing into him in ASDA Llandudno just after we moved. I believe Dave's family also moved to this area around this time. In recent years he would e-mail me through Friends Reunited, interested in any news of a possible reunion of his old schoolmates, an event that had been talked about for some years and ironically has been echeduled for April 2010. In fact, according to one of his friends I ws talking to recently from Blaenau Ffestiniog, he was so looking forward to going to it next year. He had been asking me since 2007 about this reunion, so proving that he couldn't wait to see his friends again. I for one was not only looking forward to seeing him at the reunion, but also here at Rhos where his dad lives.
Going through his page on Friends Reunited reveals a man who thought a lot of his days back in Blaenau. His photos are a reminder for all of us who knew him of the halcyon times that were our schooldays. Despite the angst of adolescence they really were halcyon days weren't they.
Let's hope that this coming reunion will kick start a continuance of contact between the friends we once knew and to remember those who we have lost, and to support those that need us in times of despair.
Saturday, 28 November 2009
Beware tales of fantasy money
Disturbingly I have been regularly contacted through my e-mail on Windows Live by certain individuals from countries in Africa, in my case Togo and Ghana, of requests to make money from the estates of dead individuals. I'd like to think that there is no-one stupid enough to actually believe this bullshit but just in case do not even think of pursuing these. It is well known that a lot of internet scams originate from Africa (Ebay used to get swamped with problems from scammers from Africa, but I think they have tightned up security now).
Here is an example of the type of letter I received today which claims to be from a Richard Ibe, an alleged attorney for some dead guy who was a contractor in his country. He goes on to ask whether you are willing to pretend to be a relative of the dead person and split the money. The story and the names of the deceased changes but the scam is the same.
BEWARE!
Here is an example of the type of letter I received today which claims to be from a Richard Ibe, an alleged attorney for some dead guy who was a contractor in his country. He goes on to ask whether you are willing to pretend to be a relative of the dead person and split the money. The story and the names of the deceased changes but the scam is the same.
BEWARE!
Gwyn's Playlist for November 2009
1. Sleeping in Traffic, part 1 - Beardfish
2. Flame - Barbieri and Bowness
3. Cruel Melody - Black Light Burns
4. Black Clouds and Silver Linings - Dream Theater
4. Anthems for the Damned - Filter
5. Speak - No-Man
6. The Wall - Pink Floyd
7. Insurgentes - Steven Wilson
8. My Hotel Year - Tim Bowness
9. The History of Melody Nelson - Serge Gainsbourg
10. Cactus Choir - Dave Greenslade
11. Suspension & Displacement - Djam Karet
12. Between The Leaves - Deja Vu
Contact from Beyond?
Around this time last year my dad finally decided to get a large (44inch) flat screen TV which he got mounted up on his wall. It looked great and he enjoyed watching his Sky Sports matches on there until his passing last August. After his funeral, my mum asked whether we would want it, which I gladly accepted. So its been here since September and has fitted quite well with our small sitting room. However, now and again we will want to watch a DVD with it and for some inexplicable reason we don't get the video but we can hear the sound of the particular DVD. After a few hours, though, the DVD will work, sound and vision! Now, my wife is a spirit believer and has always said that she believes my dad is still around and because of his mischievious nature when alive, is convinced that he is messing with our electrical equipment.
In fact, back in September, when my mum got our old TV (we swapped) she phoned and told us that she could not get a picture on the TV, yet it was working ok 3 hours before. So, I went over to see if I could solve the problem and found that the cables were ok and where they should be. However, the electrical plug had slightly come out, so after pushing it back fully into the socket the TV was working ok. My wife thought my dad was responsible for this. At this time I didn't, because I believe that there were a lot of reasons why the plug was half way out. Secretly I suspected that my mum had been messing about trying to fix the problem before she phoned me, but she was insistent that she had not done so. The fact that this event happened in my dad's old room, now newly decorated and all his stuff has gone, further convinced my wife that it was my dad's doing. Anyway, I can happily report that no such incidents have occurred since. Instead it may appear that my dad is still up to his own tricks only he has moved his centre of attention!
A couple of times we have not been able to figure out why at certain times we can only get sound and no vision on whichever DVD we slot in. But as usual normal service is resumed later. Why, no idea! What promted me to write about this in the blog is because I'm starting to believe that something strange is going on! This occured yesterday tea-time when the boys wanted to watch 'My Name is Earl' DVD, and sure enough we did not get a picture - blue screen and theme music. We could easily have watched something on Sky, but we switched off the TV, and talked. It is something that we don't do enough of, sadly, but we had a lively conversation and it was nice. Later on, near bedtime, sure enough the DVD player worked and the boys were able to watch 'Earl'.
This morning I was conducting a search on Twitter on family history when top of the pile was a link to The Pittsburg Post Gazette.com about a project called 'StoryCorps', where since 2003 ordinary American people have had the opportunity to go into a booth and talk about their lives, sharing experiences. Read the article here and what struck me was the fact that the central purpose of the project is to encourage people to talk to their loved ones, and that yesterday was National Listening Day. Well, yesterday we, as a family, did just that, perhaps with the help of dad through his manipulation of electrical devices which he was so good with when he was alive.
In fact, back in September, when my mum got our old TV (we swapped) she phoned and told us that she could not get a picture on the TV, yet it was working ok 3 hours before. So, I went over to see if I could solve the problem and found that the cables were ok and where they should be. However, the electrical plug had slightly come out, so after pushing it back fully into the socket the TV was working ok. My wife thought my dad was responsible for this. At this time I didn't, because I believe that there were a lot of reasons why the plug was half way out. Secretly I suspected that my mum had been messing about trying to fix the problem before she phoned me, but she was insistent that she had not done so. The fact that this event happened in my dad's old room, now newly decorated and all his stuff has gone, further convinced my wife that it was my dad's doing. Anyway, I can happily report that no such incidents have occurred since. Instead it may appear that my dad is still up to his own tricks only he has moved his centre of attention!
A couple of times we have not been able to figure out why at certain times we can only get sound and no vision on whichever DVD we slot in. But as usual normal service is resumed later. Why, no idea! What promted me to write about this in the blog is because I'm starting to believe that something strange is going on! This occured yesterday tea-time when the boys wanted to watch 'My Name is Earl' DVD, and sure enough we did not get a picture - blue screen and theme music. We could easily have watched something on Sky, but we switched off the TV, and talked. It is something that we don't do enough of, sadly, but we had a lively conversation and it was nice. Later on, near bedtime, sure enough the DVD player worked and the boys were able to watch 'Earl'.
This morning I was conducting a search on Twitter on family history when top of the pile was a link to The Pittsburg Post Gazette.com about a project called 'StoryCorps', where since 2003 ordinary American people have had the opportunity to go into a booth and talk about their lives, sharing experiences. Read the article here and what struck me was the fact that the central purpose of the project is to encourage people to talk to their loved ones, and that yesterday was National Listening Day. Well, yesterday we, as a family, did just that, perhaps with the help of dad through his manipulation of electrical devices which he was so good with when he was alive.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Gwyn's Playlist for Oct 2009
1. The Incident - Porcupine Tree
2. Neu! - Neu!
3. Destined Solitaire - Beardfish
4. Gazeuse - Gong
5. Enigmatic Ocean - Jean-Luc Ponty
6. Stupid Dream - Porcupine Tree
7. Lark's Tongues in Aspic - King Crimson
8. 10,000 Days - Tool
9. Drama - Yes
2. Neu! - Neu!
3. Destined Solitaire - Beardfish
4. Gazeuse - Gong
5. Enigmatic Ocean - Jean-Luc Ponty
6. Stupid Dream - Porcupine Tree
7. Lark's Tongues in Aspic - King Crimson
8. 10,000 Days - Tool
9. Drama - Yes
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
New TransAtlantic album out next month
This is a beautiful track performed live at Tilburg, Holland. TranAtlantic have a new album called 'The Whirlwind' coming out in October.
This song can be found on the 'Bridge Across Forever' album
This song can be found on the 'Bridge Across Forever' album
Monday, 28 September 2009
Way Out of Here live
Here is 'Way Out of Here' from the forthcoming Porcupine Tree live DVD.
Porcupine Tree "Way Out Of Here" Live in Tilburg
Porcupine Tree "Way Out Of Here" Live in Tilburg
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Gwyn's Playlist for Sept 2009
Here is a selection of what I'm listening to this month. It's been a very good month for rock music with the new Porcupine Tree album coming out and doing so well to come in at No.23 in the charts here in the UK. I think I have underestimated the support that Muse enjoy, and was really surprised that they went straight to No.1 with The Resistence. Times they are a'changin I suppose and about time.
Milliontown – Frost*
The Resistance – Muse
The Incident – Porcupine Tree
Animals – Pink Floyd
Whos’ the Boss in the Factory – Karmakanic
Chickenfoot – Chickenfoot
Drop – O5Ric with Gavin Harrison
The Dark Third – Pure Reason Revolution
Face The Music – ELO
Black Swan - Athlete
The Resistance – Muse
The Incident – Porcupine Tree
Animals – Pink Floyd
Whos’ the Boss in the Factory – Karmakanic
Chickenfoot – Chickenfoot
Drop – O5Ric with Gavin Harrison
The Dark Third – Pure Reason Revolution
Face The Music – ELO
Black Swan - Athlete
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Steven Wilson interview with the BBC
Maybe now they will be invited to appear on Jools Holland's show!
It's great that Porcupine Tree have been noticed by the BBC in this article:
Also that 'The Incident' has entered the album charts in the UK at No.23. The current album is a refreshing change to the usual tosh that are selling by the 1000's these days, and is a real listening experience. Personally I'm planning to go and see them live at Manchester in December with my son Simon; first time since April 2005.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
RIP Brian, my friend
Becoming a volunteer for MIND Cymru a year and a half ago was one of the best things to have happened to me. It cannot, of course top becoming a dad and marrying Tracy, but with all the things that have happened to us as a family these last 4 years, going there every Monday and Wednesday gave me a different perspective of life. I thought I was having a shitty time, it was nothing compared to the souls who were turning up there every day. To be able to be there for those who asked me for help has been the most rewarding thing ever. As with all volunteers I have favourites, people who regard me as friend as well as helper, and with whom I enjoy their company. Some of the people I have met at MIND Cymru have turned out to be some of the most honest and reliable friends I have made. One of them was Brian Williams who I learned today had died last month. I first knew Brian as a fellow trainee volunteer and we spent every Monday morning learning the in and outs of being a volunteer at MIND Cymru for about 6 weeks. He struck me as an intelligent, articulate and resourceful fellow who I quickly respected especially considering that he had suffered a serious mental health issue for many years. He had been running the Walking group at MIND for a long time and had even been invited, earlier this year to present his achievements to the MIND annual conference in Birmingham, and was praised for developing his media projects by many of the MIND ‘bigwigs’ there. The last time I saw him we were discussing plans of working together in forming a photography group (another passion of Brian’s) to show other MIND Cymru members how they could improve their digital photos by using computer software. He had a progressive mind and was always coming up with great ideas on how to generate the members’ interests in order to improve their quality of life. He was a firm believer in that. Taking up hobbies is probably what helped him and he wanted others to follow that path for betterment. In fact he was signed up to do a Digital Photography course with Llandrillo College this month, which I was keen to do but decided not to pursue because of other commitments. It’s been a while since I last saw him because back in July he had not turned up to the drop-in centre in Llandudno for some time and I thought then that this was strange. A while before this time Brian had confided in me privately that he had been having a bad time, but he soon picked himself up. Anyway, I decided to take a couple of weeks off thinking I was going down to Ipswich with the family to see Tracy’s folks when my dad took ill and went to hospital and subsequently passed away a week later. So I haven’t set foot in MIND since the second week in August, and it was a considerable shock to me to hear the sad news from Ray this morning. He will be sadly and massively missed at MIND and I will miss the chats and the hope that he emanated from our discussions.
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
A 'Larry David moment'
Since rewatching the Larry David show 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' recently I have come across many instances commonly known as 'Larry David moments', when a ordinary normal situation eventually turns out to be one giant headache to sort out. However, there are other times, again there are many examples in the show, when Larry can't quite get why certain people act in the way that they do. Next time you go out to town, do the shopping, or take a run in the car, you are bound to meet some of these morons, who tend to do things that really annoy you.
Such a moment happened to my eldest son, Simon, this morning. Simon recently turned 18 and is quite a big built lad, and has no trouble passing himself for 20 actually. He popped out to get a Playstation magazine at our local Co-op here in Rhos-on-sea, but came back empty handed because a checkout assistant insisted on seeing proof of identity! This particular magazine is a popular one with kids obviously being a game console mag and I would imagine that kids of the age range between 10-18 would want to buy it. He could not believe that this woman had refused to sell him the magazine, so I said, come on let's go back. I want to see this! Simon picked his mag and went to the counter and was duly asked for his ID again. I was loitering trying to pretend I was not with Simon, but chipped in, "You do know that magazine is rated 15 don't you?" She replied that she has to ask because it's more than her job's worth. I said, " Yea, but you can see he's over 15, can't you?" It's policy, she said. So, you have to ask all the kids for ID before they can buy magazines now?, I said. Yes was the reply. So there you have it, if a magazine is a 12 rating, then all the 10 - 13 year olds have to show proof of age now. How many kids of that age carry ID cards? Not many. I have no problem if there is reasonable doubt in regards to someone who looks borderline, but if she thinks Simon wasn't even 15 years old today, she needs her eyes tested!
Such a moment happened to my eldest son, Simon, this morning. Simon recently turned 18 and is quite a big built lad, and has no trouble passing himself for 20 actually. He popped out to get a Playstation magazine at our local Co-op here in Rhos-on-sea, but came back empty handed because a checkout assistant insisted on seeing proof of identity! This particular magazine is a popular one with kids obviously being a game console mag and I would imagine that kids of the age range between 10-18 would want to buy it. He could not believe that this woman had refused to sell him the magazine, so I said, come on let's go back. I want to see this! Simon picked his mag and went to the counter and was duly asked for his ID again. I was loitering trying to pretend I was not with Simon, but chipped in, "You do know that magazine is rated 15 don't you?" She replied that she has to ask because it's more than her job's worth. I said, " Yea, but you can see he's over 15, can't you?" It's policy, she said. So, you have to ask all the kids for ID before they can buy magazines now?, I said. Yes was the reply. So there you have it, if a magazine is a 12 rating, then all the 10 - 13 year olds have to show proof of age now. How many kids of that age carry ID cards? Not many. I have no problem if there is reasonable doubt in regards to someone who looks borderline, but if she thinks Simon wasn't even 15 years old today, she needs her eyes tested!
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Time Flies
Steven Wilson talks about the song 'Time Flies' on the Roadrunner site.
http://www.roadrunnerrecords.co.uk/page/News?news_id=80332
http://www.roadrunnerrecords.co.uk/page/News?news_id=80332
Preview music for the forthcoming new Porcupine Tree album
Porcupine Tree have released various clips of music from 'The Incident' which will be released on 14 September.
http://www.myspace.com/porcupinetree
Sounds like another diverse sobic mix of brilliant music.
As always.
http://www.myspace.com/porcupinetree
Sounds like another diverse sobic mix of brilliant music.
As always.
Friday, 7 August 2009
Saturday, 1 August 2009
Remembering Sir Bobby
Sad to hear about Bobby Robson's death. I have a couple of memories of him because I was living in the Ipswich area from 1988 to 1990. I remember going to a Ipswich versus Man. Utd game at Portman Road in the FA cup (don't remember the round could be the third) and it was televised. I was in the crowd and I remember turning to my left where the television box was and he was sitting there (he was a guest of the BBC for the match) and thinking 'bloody hell, that Bobby Robson up there!' The rest of the crowd spotted him and they all raised their arms to salute him and he raised his arm in acknowledgment and smiled. We all cheered.
Not long after I was getting off a bus from Washbrook to Ipswich train station on my way to work at Chelmsford, when I saw Bobby crossing the road, going for the train station as well. I think England had just embarassingly drawn with Saudia Arabia and he was, as usual, being slagged off in the press at the time. As I got on the platform it was packed with waiting commuters for the London train, as it always was. Bobby was standing right at the far end, where the first class coaches would stop at, and he seemed in another world, in fact he looked like he had all the worries of the world on his shoulders. I remember thinking, this is the England manager here, catching the same train as me (and a few others of course!).
Another celebrity I saw during my Portsmouth days was the infamous David Icke, who was then a respectble BBC Sports presenter but not long after lost his way with the Purple shellsuit cult. He was very uptight, sitting in front of me as I got on the Portsmouth-London train and hardly made eye contact with any of his fellow passengers. He was wearing a long camel haired coat, like Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses... I wonder what he's doing now...
Not long after I was getting off a bus from Washbrook to Ipswich train station on my way to work at Chelmsford, when I saw Bobby crossing the road, going for the train station as well. I think England had just embarassingly drawn with Saudia Arabia and he was, as usual, being slagged off in the press at the time. As I got on the platform it was packed with waiting commuters for the London train, as it always was. Bobby was standing right at the far end, where the first class coaches would stop at, and he seemed in another world, in fact he looked like he had all the worries of the world on his shoulders. I remember thinking, this is the England manager here, catching the same train as me (and a few others of course!).
Another celebrity I saw during my Portsmouth days was the infamous David Icke, who was then a respectble BBC Sports presenter but not long after lost his way with the Purple shellsuit cult. He was very uptight, sitting in front of me as I got on the Portsmouth-London train and hardly made eye contact with any of his fellow passengers. He was wearing a long camel haired coat, like Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses... I wonder what he's doing now...
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
1911 census
At last the 1911 census that covers the Welsh counties has arrived online which will help all Welsh family historians. It has been a long time coming, with the English counties appearing quite a few months ago. There was always this troublesome gap in family history research between 1901 and 1911, a black hole where it was difficult to prove whose children belonged to who, and the only way to find out was to buy copies of birth certificates. The cost mounts up!
I was fairly successful earlier on in finding my relatives, but because of the nature of the interface on the site it is very easy to choose the wrong name and waste credits. 10 credits will get you a copy of the transcript of the household of your relative, and 30 for the image download. To be honest the 10 credit information is good enough for me, it gives me enough to go on. I must have wasted about 40 thinking they were my relatives. Its already yeilded useful information for me.
Over the last few weeks I have signed up for Twitter. Not sure how useful it is to be on it, but I have had a good old search tonight for anything that covers my interests. One good thing about it is that it is a good source for info on absolutely anything you can think of, and I've found some interesting photography blogs (which I have provided links to on the left)if anyone is interested.
I was fairly successful earlier on in finding my relatives, but because of the nature of the interface on the site it is very easy to choose the wrong name and waste credits. 10 credits will get you a copy of the transcript of the household of your relative, and 30 for the image download. To be honest the 10 credit information is good enough for me, it gives me enough to go on. I must have wasted about 40 thinking they were my relatives. Its already yeilded useful information for me.
Over the last few weeks I have signed up for Twitter. Not sure how useful it is to be on it, but I have had a good old search tonight for anything that covers my interests. One good thing about it is that it is a good source for info on absolutely anything you can think of, and I've found some interesting photography blogs (which I have provided links to on the left)if anyone is interested.
Monday, 25 May 2009
Boris
Viewing a recent Steven Wilson interview I decided to check out a band he mentioned that he was a big fan of called Sunn O)) on You Tube. While I like my rock music diverse and different, droning loud guitars which seem to last for ever will take a while to catch on with me. However, Sunn O)))collaborated once with the Japanese drone rock band BORIS and so watched a few clips and you know what I like them. Do not get confused with another band called Boris, apparantly from the US who do not sound anything like their Japanese namesakes. The lead guitarist Watta is one of the best lady guitarists I've seen. In their early albums their trademark was definately drone, but lately their sound is more contemporary and worth listening to.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
The year so far
Well 2009 is already half way over and I've been a bit lazy in regards to writing in this blog. My main excuse is the work involved with my Psychology course which is on its last leg now (thank God!), but I am enjoying this one much, much more than last year's which was a pig of a one to do. The module is Social Psychology and it is very interesting. In fact I am in the middle of conducting research for a project which will include studying people's identity in relation to their environment. I can't say too much about it because of confidentiality restrictions, but I am looking forward to participate in it.
The year so far has been a mixture of study and family tree work. I have completed the counselling course, but I am taking on another module at the college which finish at the end of next month. With the degree course finishing this year I should be study free for the first time in 3 years, and will be taking on other projects hopefully. But no studying! Not for a while anyway.
My main interest this year on the family tree is one of my great great grandmother, whose surname I recently found out. Her name was Jane Salt, as confirmed by her marriage certificate and my great grandfather's birth certificate. She has been a bit of a mystery for quite some time,and the only information that I knew about her was that she married William Williams of Croesor in 1869, her children, which included twins with the names of James and George, and that she was buried at Llanfrothen churchyard in 1927. The mystery deepend when her marriage certificate did not reveal her father's name. A bit of back story for you. Around the 1850's, 2 brothers named George and Joseph Salt came to live in the Bangor/Bethesda area together with other members of family with the name Twigge. With Jane naming her boys George and James (James was George and Joseph's father's name) I was sure I was on the right track, with probably George being her father. Well I can't be sure, but a recent telephone conversation I had with a relative seems to indicate that George was her father but had her with a woman named Margaret Jones before he married his wife Ellen. This seems to make sense because Jane apparant birth was before his marriage, and that George and Ellen's daughter Sarah was a witness at Jane and William's marriage.
Another avenue for information may be a resident in a Criccieth home who clams up whenever anyone asks about Jane. Could there be a dark secret in my family history? I hope so!
The year so far has been a mixture of study and family tree work. I have completed the counselling course, but I am taking on another module at the college which finish at the end of next month. With the degree course finishing this year I should be study free for the first time in 3 years, and will be taking on other projects hopefully. But no studying! Not for a while anyway.
My main interest this year on the family tree is one of my great great grandmother, whose surname I recently found out. Her name was Jane Salt, as confirmed by her marriage certificate and my great grandfather's birth certificate. She has been a bit of a mystery for quite some time,and the only information that I knew about her was that she married William Williams of Croesor in 1869, her children, which included twins with the names of James and George, and that she was buried at Llanfrothen churchyard in 1927. The mystery deepend when her marriage certificate did not reveal her father's name. A bit of back story for you. Around the 1850's, 2 brothers named George and Joseph Salt came to live in the Bangor/Bethesda area together with other members of family with the name Twigge. With Jane naming her boys George and James (James was George and Joseph's father's name) I was sure I was on the right track, with probably George being her father. Well I can't be sure, but a recent telephone conversation I had with a relative seems to indicate that George was her father but had her with a woman named Margaret Jones before he married his wife Ellen. This seems to make sense because Jane apparant birth was before his marriage, and that George and Ellen's daughter Sarah was a witness at Jane and William's marriage.
Another avenue for information may be a resident in a Criccieth home who clams up whenever anyone asks about Jane. Could there be a dark secret in my family history? I hope so!
Saturday, 28 February 2009
Another rant!
Yes it must be that time of the year again! Something irked me this morning that made me write a stinging letter to that old 'reliable' institution of ours, namely British Gas. To cut a long story short we recently found out that British Gas has been taking money from our bank account for someone else's homecare bolier service plan - since October last year. Now you would think that they would be concerned that they have done this, but apparantly not. Since they agreed to refund us they have told me that it will take a further 21 days for them to send me a cheque, which will then add another week for us to wait until we get back what was ours in the first place. Anyway I think it's outrageous, and the next time I get a call interupting my tea from British Gas wanting me to sign up with them, I will not be responsible for my actions! This is the letter.
I'm not holding my breath, but I recommend writing as a method of relieving stress!
RE: Refund
Dear Sir,
I feel that I need to write this letter to you because British Gas has taken money from my bank account without my permission. 2 weeks ago I discovered that I was paying someone else’s Homecare Plan since October last year. No explanation as to how this occurred has ever been given to me, but it sounds like you have at least one sloppy employee! Actually it makes you think why the people I was paying for their boiler to be serviced all this time didn’t spot that they were getting it for free. Boy, are they going to get mad when they have to be told that they owe you money! Anyway, I think it’s outrageous that I have to wait 21 days for what is rightly mine and then it will be in the form of a cheque, which will probably take another week to clear. A month to get my own money back, and by the way money that I cannot do without. I wish I could be generous and be able to afford to help someone else out, but unfortunately I had to give up my work in order to care for a relative, and find myself having to live on Income Support. So, I herby give you notice that if I go over my overdraft during the period I am waiting for my money, I will be sending you the bill. It’s only fair.
I also must tell you that the ‘advisor’ I spoke to today (Leslie with a Scottish accent) needs to brush up on her customer care skills. Her ‘sorry’ sounded like I was her enemy, not a customer. I have read comments by other people on the Uswitch web site declaring their disgust at the responses and lack of help they get from your telephone ‘advisors’. It seems they were not exaggerating. I pity the one who will inevitably phone me next trying to get me to switch back to British Gas for my supply! With what I have to say I’ll convince HIM to leave British Gas!
To conclude, if I was responsible for taking money that didn’t belong to me I would try and return it as fast as possible, and break my back to make sure it happened. As a customer I would expect that. However, this matter is being treated like it doesn’t matter to you. This money that you took from my account MATTERS to me. If I took 21 days plus to pay you, YOU would charge me!
I expect you to reply to this letter giving me a good reason why it takes 21 days to write a cheque to correct a mistake that British Gas was responsible for. What the hell is stopping someone higher up the corporate chain of command in getting the big fat chequebook that British Gas undoubtedly has (how many millions profit did you make recently?) and send me a measly £90 whatever, which should have stayed in my bank account anyway?
Yours sincerely,
I'm not holding my breath, but I recommend writing as a method of relieving stress!
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